Back at it

I indulged a bit over the weekend at the fair, but today is back to the grind. Thankfully it wasn't really all that bad...I had a few french fries and a french waffle last night, but that was it. Saturday was even less fries and part of the funnel cake, so again, not bad. But I want to get back to eating clean again this week. So far today has been good.

I also ran today. I kinda liked doing my own thing. I only followed C25K for 2 weeks, but I dont have the next podcast since my computer died. So today I warmed up with a 5 minute walk, then ran for 2 minutes, walked for 2 minutes, ran for 7 minutes, walked for 3 minutes (was supposed to only be 2, but lost track of time), ran for 4 minutes, cooled down with a 5 minute walk. I did 1.25 miles. I feel like I'm ready to run for longer periods of time, and I did just that today. So I might just keep doing my own thing for awhile. I feel like I can push myself right now. I feel good!

I'm also doing really well staying off the scale. It was really getting discouraging not seeing what I wanted to each day, so I dont step on it until Thursdays. I think I'll be able to stay motivated more if I keep it to one day a week for the time being.

On and on and on...

So it continues. Last night my aunt called to tell me my mom had passed out a couple times yesterday. They had someone come look at her (vitals and such) and her BP was really low. They thought she should go in to be seen, but she had an appointment this morning, so she stayed home. Her dr said to push fluids and food and make sure she got lots of rest. I took her to the dr today and she ended up with a bag of IV fluids there. Then we had to go to the hospital for IV potassium. She's still there, but should be getting done within the next 30 minutes or so. I really hope this helps, because her BP was still pretty low when she left the dr office. I'm not supposed to be worrying about my mom yet!

Today is weigh in day. I lost a little over a pound. I hadn't been keeping track of the decimal part of the change, but I think I'll start. I'm only .2 away from the next pound down. :)

I started working out on the total gym tonight. I hate that my whole body isn't at the same place, so some things are really hard at the incline I have it set at. But I dont think I should put it down any lower. So I guess I have to work up to it being too easy.

Lots to do in the next couple days. Looking forward to the fair on Saturday!

Good Day

I wasn't sure what my exercise was going to be today. I really needed to go to the bank, but my car was being worked on. So I decided to walk to town. Its just about a mile to the bank, so 2 miles total. The bad thing: the whole walk back is uphill. The walk to town wasn't bad. The only thing I dont like is the first half of the trip there is no sidewalk. People drive crazy on this road. I was going to stop to check on my mom while I was in town, and saw that she was home when I went to the bank, but by the time I finished at the bank, she was gone. So I just came home. That was a workout! By then the sun had come out, I was completely dressed in black (what was I thinking?), and was sweating bullets by the time I got home. Felt good though. I should do that more often.

Food was pretty good again today. I did have a candy bar today, which is really not normal for me at all. (I bought them for some kids at school that helped me out, but didnt see them yesterday to give them the candy. I better hide the rest!) Oh, and I might change my weigh in days to Thursdays. I think I need that extra day to recover from the weekend, not that I do really bad, but with family dinners on Sundays, it will help. I was back to the lowest today, so its all down from here. :)

I just feel really good that I got a workout in today. I've been doing nothing on my non running days. I have the ipod all loaded for week 2 tomorrow. The good thing is, if I dont get a call to sub, I dont have to get up early to do it. I can wait til the kids leave for school!

Weigh in Day

So I'm up a couple pounds from my lowest. This is the first week I'm weighing on Wednesdays (officially), so I'm not really surprised.

I got up early again this morning to run. I hope someday I can be a morning person again. Its just so hard. But, its done.

Today:
W1D3: 1.33 miles.

I'm getting ready to download the music for week 2 so I have no excuses to keep going.

I had a good day with food today. I've seen some blogs where people take pics of everything they eat to keep them accountable. I'm considering it, but I'm not sure I have that dedication. Would make the blog more interesting though, lol.

Today was a busy day at school. I dont have kids in the library, but I picked up more intervention times, so I was on the go almost all day. I really should get a pedometer (or at least find the cheap one I have around here somewhere). Might be interesting to track that for awhile.

No work tomorrow (so far), so I think I might try to do some weights. I seriously feel I need to add that back in.

No Title Comes to Mind

I didnt get up early today. Not because I felt like being lazy, but because I'm not sure what I'm going to do on my non-running days. I need to check out the videos I have, or get the total gym out and see if I can put together some kind of routine. I think thats the best choice. I need some weight training in my routine.

I also havent looked for a dress/outfit for the Christmas challenge. I just keep forgetting. I keep thinking I need to find one, print it out, and tape it to the treadmill. :) Maybe that will keep me motivated.

I also need to post my distances so I can keep track. I'd like to see how my pace is varying from run to run.

W1D1 - 1.3 miles
W1D2 - 1.27 miles

Pretty consistent so far. I hope tomorrow will be just a little more. My legs felt kinda heavy today though (I mean--they are, lol, but they felt muscle tired heavy today). :)

On the plus side---I remembered to turn on the crock pot this morning.

Change is a good thing!

I got up this morning at 5:50...that would be 5:50 in the morning...as in the hour that comes before 6---in the morning. And what did I do with that time??? I got on the treadmill and did day 2 of C25K. Who is this person?

I did day one on Saturday and felt pretty good during and after. Today, not as much. I struggled just a bit as I was running today, and seriously thought about quitting early...but thats not going to get me results. So I stuck it out and finished.

I would like to think I can keep getting up at 5:50 to workout before I go to work. I used to be a morning person, but not so much anymore. Six a.m. is not my idea of a good hour to wake up. So we'll see how long I can keep doing it. (I felt I didnt have a choice today...I had to work and then have a meeting tonight at 7, so I didnt think I'd have any other time to do day 2 today.)

Food has been going today, besides the fact I forgot to turn on the crock pot when I left for work this morning. Ugh! Thats the second time I've done that. Sigh.... Guess I'll have to start putting a note on the door.

Still plugging, still struggling

I was reading some blogs this morning and came across one that piqued my interest. She's putting together a Christmas dress challenge. The idea is simple: pick a dress (or outfit) that is a smaller size than you're wearing now, and do the 14 week challenge to fit in to it by the Christmas festivities. While I would love to sign up for this challenge, I'm not going to this time for a couple reasons. First (and the biggest reason)---she requires you to post your weight. Yep, thats going to stop me from joining on her blog. I'm not ready to reveal that at this point. To anyone. You cant just post your weight change, you have to post the number. If this was an anonymous blog, then maybe...even probably. But since its not....

The second reason is because I have absolutely no clue what size I could realistically be wearing in 14 weeks. (Actually a little longer, as their challenge doesnt start until Sept 11) I know at my size, it takes longer to drop a size that it does when you're smaller. So just one size? Maybe 2? I dont want to go too low and then not make it, even though what I did accomplish might be good.

So, what am I going to do instead? I'm going to join the challenge. Here. Without signing up anywhere. Just me. Doing what I know I need to do. And what is that exactly? A weekly weigh in. I've usually used Friday or something like that, but I think I'm going to pick Wednesday as my weigh in day. Why? Not sure...just seems like a good middle ground. Then I will post actual changes (good or bad) for all the world to see.

I will also exercise at least 3 times a week to start, and add something more each week or 2. I know this is part of what I'm lacking. I hate to run, but for some reason, I'm still drawn to running. I want to do it. Maybe its just to prove something to myself. Maybe its because I really want to do a Race for the Cure (and not walk). I dont know, but I want to start again.

I will also count calories. I'm going to aim for 1200 a day. I know its a little low, so I'm going to give myself a bit of slack to change it up from day to day. What I'm really shooting for is a range of 1200 - 1500 per day. Along the same lines, I need to find some good nutritional information. I'd like to find some kind of eating plan.

So how am I going to accomplish all this? As soon as I'm done with this post, I'm going to go put on some workout clothes and do day one of C25K. Its already loaded on the ipod. Its going to suck big time. :) But I'm going to do it. I'm going to go down and see if I can find my kitchen scale that is still packed up in the basement somewhere. Its a necessity if I'm going to count calories. I need to invest in a new pair of shoes. Mine are really wearing out, and my feet hurt by the end of the day, so I know they're not going to give me the support I need to run. (This will have to wait a bit, as my financial situation is struggling more than my weight at the moment.) I'm going to set up the Total gym to get some weight training in. And I'm going to write down everything I eat so I can be accountable. Oh, and water...I'm already drinking a minimum of 80 oz a day. I'll keep that up at minimum.

Let see where I can be by Christmas.

Sigh........

I now stand at 12 lbs lost. Things have really slowed down, even though I'm not really doing anything different. Maybe thats the problem...I'm not doing anything different.

My timing is not going to be the best on this, but my goals for starting week 4 (Monday) are these---
1. Exercise
2. Count calories (at least for awhile). I think I need to make sure I'm in the ball park I think I'm in. Over the weekend I need to dig out my kitchen scale and look up some calorie counts on the foods I'm eating frequently. (I read a blog about someone who doesnt count the calories in fruits or veggies...maybe I could do that for veggies, but I think I need to count fruits.)

Now that school starts on Monday, I need to be better again at planning menus and having the stuff on hand. (Another thing I need to do this weekend.) I've been pretty good about it, and our trips to fast food are minimal. I told the girls we're going to try a few things in the next months---like no fast food at all in October. (It wont count if they're with their dad unless there is another option. But there wont be any for me period.) Not only is eating at home a healthier option, it will save money as well. I know its going to take awhile for the girls to get used to not having as much processed food in the house, but I'm hoping if I start now, they'll learn to make better choices than I did growing up.

I understand that all of this is not going to be a quick fix, or overnight success. But I'm in it for the long haul this time. There are things I want to do, and I'm tired of being tired and feeling bad and having no self esteem.

The change is now.

2 Weeks Down

After 2 weeks, I'm down 11 lbs. Only a couple tenths from 12. While I wish it was more, I'm really happy with that. I'm doing it right (and forever) this time. No fads, no pills, no shakes, no "fake" food. Just healthy eating and good choices.

I think that first week of headaches was my body detoxing. I've felt really good the past week. I've been reading some other blogs, and really thought the physical feelings might just be in their minds, but I really can tell a difference. I dont feel as sluggish. I've had minimal sugar in the past 2 weeks, and I really can tell a difference. Makes me want to continue.

My goal for this week is to work in some exercise. I'm having such a hard time just thinking about it. I know it will make things go faster, make look better, and help add to my feeling better. I need the nike slogan---just do it (already!).

I also need to find more healthy options for lunch. Salad is going to get old fast. I'm going to be a bit more limited now that school is starting (ugh!). I start back Friday, and they decided to do something different, and will be feeding us lunch as a district. This is NOT the way I want to spend my entire "welcome back" day. Oh well, at least its just once a year.

Off to make the grocery list.

Day 7

I'm going to have to come up with better titles to these posts. :)

So its been one week, and I'm 8 lbs down. I know it wont keep coming off that fast, but I really need to keep it up. I've been doing really well, and am proud of the things I've passed up (donuts for breakfast for my company, donuts at a church meeting, etc). I did have a couple things that could have done real harm---mainly pizza. It is by far the thing I could eat every day and never get sick of. We had it Friday for dinner, and I had 2 slices. I had one slice for dinner Saturday. But thats it. No going back for more. Saturday evening we also had chocolate fondue made with dark chocolate, with bananas, strawberries and pound cake for dipping. I had a bit (my first sugar of the week), but did not over do it. This whole life changing process will not work for me if I cant indulge a little now and then. Moderation is the key.

Tomorrow my aunt is taking us to the movie. She wants to stop to get candy before we go. I will either A) not eat anything while we're there, because we're going fairly soon after lunch, or B) take some nuts and/or fruit for me. I'm going to really really try to be 100% on eating during the week. (Might be a little hard this week on Tuesday since we'll be visiting family out of town and having at least one meal away from home.)

School starts 2 weeks from tomorrow. While I really need the money, I'm so not ready to go back yet. This summer didnt go at all as I had hoped. :(

And just so I'll have things on record, this was not a good week for my mom either. She started chemo again this week, but also found out they see 2 more spots on her liver. I'm not sure what will happen there. She's in no shape what-so-ever to have surgery. They also found some abnormalities in her bloodwork. She ended up with an EKG, which also showed something abnormal. They think she could have had a couple small heart attacks. Just one more thing she doesnt need!

We need a vacation.

Its Time

I'm starting---again. But this time its for good. I'm starting my healthier life tomorrow. I've been reading some things, and I found a blog tonight that really spoke to me.

I have one life to live. Is this really how I want it to be? There are so many things I'd like to do, but dont because my weight holds me back. I'm not comfortable. I'm embarrassed.

I'm tired of living like this.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I need to go to the grocery store, which is a blessing. My kids are going to rebel. They're going to complain. But they're going to do this too. Fresh fruits and veggies are going to become what they see first when they open the fridge. (They are usually in there, just not out front and prominent.) I'm not buying junk. Maybe occasionally, but not regularly. They're going to have to learn to snack on healthier alternatives.

I'm going to move more. I have the equipment here...treadmill, total gym, elliptical, wii... I'm going to put them to use. I am lazy. I've let that become the norm here. I dont like it. I dont like the way I feel. I dont want to be tired, have headaches, have achy joints. I dont like to be winded running the bases in softball. (And I'm sure I look foolish just doing that!)

So I'm done. I'm done with excuses. I'm done with sitting more than moving. I'm done with making the wrong choices with what I put into my body. I'm done watching. I want to do.

And so I will.