Some days I think its really too bad I cant at least glimpse into the future. It doesnt have to be far, or even long, but just a peek...enough to let me know if putting the effort into some things will pay off in the end. I guess that would take the fun out of things, but it sure could ease some heartbreaks.

I'm really hoping for a change in my life...an addition to it maybe. I think the girls would be happy with it, and it would add some fun. But this is one of those things...is it worth the effort? I cant believe God would leave this in my life for soooo long for no reason at all...so I'm hopeful. But its hard, and I hate waiting. I need a sign, lol.

I'm planning the New Years Eve party. Not really party as much as get-together. Planning on some games and eucher! I'm looking forward to the new year, and optimistic of things to come. Like my phone wallpaper says "Give me a new year to remember".

Works for me. :)

Merry Christmas

A couple days late. We had a really really nice Christmas. Friday we did the traditional seafood dinner at the home with my grandma. Even Ralph and his girlfriend were here this year. Then back here for gifts and goodies. At the 9pm Christmas Eve service, Mom, Chad and I sang O Holy Night. I love doing that. Its my favorite Christmas song.
Saturday we opened gifts here, then the girls went to their dad's while the rest of us went to my aunt's for brunch. Mmmmmm. Then they went to get my grandpa and we all came here for gifts and food and games. It was a fun day.

Now we're trying to get things back in order for the New Years get together here on Friday. There seems to be so much to do before then, and its not getting done very quickly. Oh well... I'm not really sure how many people are coming, but I wouldnt mind if its not too many. The girls are having a few friends over, and I'm hoping to have a friend over... I'm in the mood for eucher!

Its just been a really nice Christmas break so far!

T minus 4 days...

...til Christmas. I'm almost ready. I just cant figure out what to get my mom! She should be the easy one to buy for, but I'm pretty much clueless. If I had a bit more money, I know what I'd get her, but since I dont...and the clock is ticking...

Sis is here. The girls are thrilled. And today was their last day of school, so tomorrow they're going to bake cookies. I still have to work, but it should be a pretty easy day. Then the fun begins. :)

Day 3 of 3

We are now officially out of snow days for the year, and its not even Christmas break yet. Who came up with this brilliant idea??? I guess I can look on the bright side...I'll be getting paid for some of spring break. :) I think they'll be kicking themselves for today though...I think we could have gotten by with a 2 hour delay. Doesnt look too bad at all out right now, plus the sun is shining.

I havent gotten much more done than I did yesterday. Must get busy.

Day 2 of 3

Ugh. Snow day today. One more and we'll have to start making them up. Not only that, but no pay today. :( Please have school tomorrow! Its not looking real promising outside. Its been snowing pretty hard off and on, plus its still blowing a lot. If there isn't school again, I HAVE to be more productive than I was today!

Please have school. Please have school.... (2 hour delay would be nice, lol.)

Sweets and fun

Yesterday was a fun day. My mom and 2 aunts came over to make cookies and candy. We made 2 batches of Russian Tea cakes, 7 layer bars, cutouts, turtles, chocolate covered pretzels (knots and rods), buckeyes, peanut clusters, raisin clusters, fudge, caramels and peanut brittle.

We're getting hit with snow and cold now. We're really wondering if there will be school tomorrow. Honestly, I'm hoping for a 2 hour delay. I can still get to school on time and not lose any pay. However, I won't be hugely disappointed if there isnt school. We'll continue with the baking and candy making. I'd like to make a few more kinds of cookies, and we dont have anything with white chocolate yet. The girls also want homemade donuts if there's no school. (Maybe for lunch, lol.) So it wouldnt be awful if there wasnt school, but I really do need the money. (I only get paid for 2 days over Christmas break.)

I can really do without the snow though!

Moving Right Along

I feel like this week is just flying by. I cant believe tomorrow is already Thursday! Usually I dread Thursdays, as they are my long days, but I dont think tomorrow will be so bad. The kids are making poinsettias this week, after we read about Christmas in Mexico. So far they're having a fun time with it, and they are really turning out great.

We're making cookies and candy on Saturday. Looking forward to that. The only thing that would make it better is if Sis would be here. But I think I have most everything we need. Mmmmm, just the thought is making me anxious! :)

I have the big girls Christmas gifts ordered. I'm so excited! I got them each a Zune 30gb mp3 player. They are awesome. I think I got a great deal, and hopefully they'll be here by the end of the week. I did a little more Christmas shopping tonight, and got the little girls each a pair of boots they wanted. (Some "like the big girls"...not "play in the snow" boots) They'll love those. Not sure what else to get. Oh, I did get a few stocking stuffers too...

The workers are done on the house. They are really a super group of guys. They did some little extras they're not allowed to do, like paint the living room where they patched, and the big girls' bedroom. They would have done mine too, but I must not have any leftover paint. They put new aerators on the bathroom sinks, so the water doesnt spray all over the place anymore. They cleaned the basement so we'll have room to set up the ping pong table and bowling table. They put up the tv shelf on the wall in the big girls room. They were just wonderful. (Mom said they're having a luncheon for the whole weatherization department next week, so I'm sending in some of the cookies they liked so well.) I just hope they realize how much I appreciate everything they did!

:)

My heart is happy again. Had a nice visit with a friend. He started not feeling well, so I thought he might go home, but he stayed...we went for dinner, then to get him some meds at Walmart. He took some when we got back here and seemed to feel better after a bit. He already asked about coming back next week with music for the girls and stuff. I'm smiling again. :)

Sasha's photo shoot was, um, interesting. It was her kids and David's sisters baby. Trin didnt want to sit with them, or she wanted to touch them or whatever. But I think I got a few decent pics. And, my friend offered me the use of his camera. Nice.

Moving right along

The house is coming right along. They have all the insulation blown in the main floor. (not sure if they're done in the basement yet...) Its a bit messy, and I spent a lot of last night cleaning the living room. I had to vacuum the walls, furniture, dust everything, etc. But its better. Now I need to do that to the rest of the house. Ugh!
But, they are a great group of guys working here. They're very respectful to me and my things, clean up after themselves, etc. They tolerate the girls when they get home...even Maddy who wants them to pay attention to her. I just appreciate all they're doing for me!

One setback is they called me on Tuesday and said I was getting water in the basement. Great. They went out in the pouring rain and dug around the septic tank, and found out its full. Thats pretty much impossible, since the tank is HUGE and it was just pumped last year. So something is wrong. I had someone come look at it yesterday, and thankfully he thinks its not going to be a huge expense. Of course, he's just guessing at this point, but he said it doesnt show signs of being something awful.

And I'm finding through this whole process, 95% of life is who you know. I'm also incredibly thankful my mom is such a great lady, because I think a lot of what I'm getting and what they're doing is because I'm her daughter. Not that they dont do the whole package for everyone, but I requested the furnace guy who came. I didnt lie...he was here the longest and was the most thorough during the inspection, but he's also the husband of my mom's good friend at work. He was great. He's also going to come back to seal up a couple entrances in the drains. But, in his estimate for that, he worked the numbers so he could get a drain camera to run through the drains to see about the water. He did that Weds. Community Action wont pay for that, but he worked it so he could do it for me. Then, when he found the cracked tile, he gave me the number for the guy who came to look at it yesterday. This guy even called the furnace guy to see what he saw/found with the camera. Its all in who you know...

My friend is supposed to come back to visit tomorrow. Hope he's still planning on it. I'm taking pics for Sasha. I thought it was Sunday, but when I looked at the calendar, its actually tomorrow. Good thing I checked.

Hard

Today was a very hard day. I had the papers to sign to give the house back to my grandpa, so we could go through all the steps to get it back to me legally and w/o taxes and such. The problem was, Mike had to sign off too. When I first told him, he was ok with it. But then sometime this week he got a burr up his butt about something, and decided he didnt want to sign. He wanted $10,000 for his troubles. Um, really? This is so my grandpa can stay in the nursing home and get the care he needs and deserves. Plus, we agreed this would be my house and that one would be his. So whats the big deal??? I was so stressed out today, talking to him, yelling at him, texting him, etc. I was on the verge of tears many times. I didnt want the girls to see how bad this was affecting me, but I'm sure they did. Plus I had a friend's kids here, so I didnt want it to be awful. But it was. Thankfully it all worked out, and he finally signed. It should be back to me, but they need to be filed with the lawyer now. I'm SO glad to have that out of the way. There really isn't anything else he could take from me that means this much, except the girls of course, but they wouldn't go if he decides to fight me for them.

Then to top it off, my friend was supposed to come over tomorrow, and now we need to reschedule. He had family show up unexpectedly from out of state, so understandably he wants to spend some time with them. But I sure could have used the distraction... Another day soon though.

Guess I'll crank the Christmas tunes tomorrow and make the place look festive! I am going to be happy for the holidays! :)

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I've been looking forward to it for quite some time now. Its going to be different...I only have one place to go this year. And I'm looking forward to that too. So much has changed this year, and I have so much to be thankful for...

-My relationship with God continues to grow
-My mom remains cancer free
-I have 4 beautiful, healthy girls that mean the world to me
-I have a nice warm house to live in
-I'm part of a great family
-I have a job I like
-I have wonderful friends

I could keep going, but those are the basics.

Of course, those wonderful girls like to keep things interesting... Today at school things were crazy. It was the Thanksgiving feast, where the whole school eats together in the gym. Then everyone goes out for recess at the same time. The kids were really good being out there for so long together. But, about 5-10 minutes into recess, I saw the playground aide walking Livi back to this side of the playground. They got part way over, and Livi knelt down. I figured something was wrong, so I went over. I looked at her and she had a HUGE goose egg on her forehead. So I took her in to get some ice. She said she wasnt dizzy (but had been after it happened) and didnt feel sick, so at the end of recess she went back to her class. Its still pretty ugly, and continues to get green/blue. Should be pretty for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

More Ramblings...

I had a first at school yesterday. After a particularly long and stressful week, it was Friday and my last class of the day, which happens to be first grade. I'm thinking this will be an easy time, as they were going to finish watching a Thanksgiving movie, then check out books and go home. So they come in and I start the movie. There is a little girl in that class that really drives me crazy. She tattles, she whines, and nothing seems to suit her. They had only been in there about 5 minutes, when another student comes up and says this little girl is stuck in her chair. I didnt quite understand, so I went over, and sure enough, she was STUCK in her chair! She had been sitting on her knees rocking in the chair, and slipped through the back up to her waist, and could not get out. I tried helping her, but she was really stuck. Of course she was crying, and I just as I went to get help, her teacher came in to see what was wrong. So we tried to get her out and no luck. Two more staff members came in then, and they took her out in the hall so I could get the rest of the class back on track. What a circus. It took 3 of them to get her out. I'm not really sure how they worked it, but she came back in a few minutes later free of the chair. I kinda felt like it was karma, but she wouldnt understand that yet. I just want to explain to her that if she does what she's supposed to do, this wouldnt happen...that she should be concerned with herself and not everyone else. Anyway, I'm sure she's over the trauma now. I still get a good laugh thinking about it.

The girls are at their dad's this weekend. I'm here alone. At least its been relatively productive. I wasted most of the morning just vegging...I needed that a lot! I'm still on the verge of a cold, so the extra rest felt good! Since then I've done 4 loads of laundry, taken all the stuff out of the bathroom and scrubbed the carpet, and gone to do pics. I have 2 loads of laundry to finish, and I'd like to clean out the bathtub, but I'm not sure I'll get to the tub tonight since the carpet is wet. It will be so nice to have a bathroom in some kind of order again. I hate the change of seasons clothing pile up!

Is it bad I'm (almost) counting the days until my friend comes back for another visit? I just had such a nice time last weekend. It would be nice if this became a regular thing.

Stress

Is it Friday yet?

Its been a long week. I've been ready for Friday for several days now. Last night was particularly bad. The girls came home from school in moods. Every one of them. Fighting. Picking. Tormenting. They wouldn't stop for anything...not when I took things away, sent them to rooms, etc. So I left. Yep, just left. Took the grocery list and went to the store. Of course, I got texts and calls while I was there, but they finally left me alone. They were all banished to their rooms by 8:45. Not a good night.

I've been waking up early too. 4:00 yesterday morning from the wind. 3:30 this morning from coughing. I dont really have a cough, but I'm getting a cold, and the back of my throat is covered in big red bumps, and I had a tickle. Yesterday I never did go back to sleep. Today I finally went back to sleep at some point, but it wasnt long enough.

And I have the start of this cold. I'm doing the neti pot twice a day to hopefully keep it at bay. I cant get sick. I dont have time. I think if I keep that up, keep hydrated and get some rest, I'll be ok.

On the bright side...They started weatherizing my house yesterday! Its going to take 2-3 weeks to get it all done, but at least I'll have a nice warm house for Christmas.

I'm been reading my SIL's blog lately. It gives me a lot to think about. I wish my thoughts were as organized and as well put together as hers. I'm all over the place, kinda like this post. I just type as things come to mind, in no particular order, with no profound words or advice or meaning. Just my ramblings.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. I need a weekend to recoup.

Smiling...

What a nice day today. It was super sunny, 70* and so nice. To top it off, my friend came to visit today. I haven't seen him in 8 years, so it was really nice to catch up. I mean, we've kept in contact over the years (ever since we met), but its not the same as just having the chance to have a real conversation.
We walked all around Fredericksburg, just taking in the sites and such. He took a few pics, and we chatted. Walked up to the park for him to take some pics of the big tree, then sat up there for a bit and chatted. Then we went to have lunch in Berlin. Not sure why I picked Berlin, since its a super nice day---and Saturday---at noon! But there was a reason. We walked into the restaurant and there was a display of paintings for sale. He wasnt impressed, and the most expensive one wasnt very good. So it put a bug in his head about painting and trying to sell some around this area. :) I told him it was a sign, and he said he agreed.

We came back here and he loaded photoshop for me, showed me a few easier ways to edit, etc. He didnt really want to leave, just wanted to sit and enjoy the view, the peacefulness... But he wanted to drive at least the back roads in the daylight (what was left). He also asked when would be a good time for him to come back. He's talking the week of Thanksgiving...thats like only a little over a week away!

It was just a really nice, relaxing, laid back kind of day.

God is Good!

Breathing another HUGE sigh....
Mom and Aunt Jackie went to an estate planner today. He asked a lot of questions, about the family, Grandpa, etc. When all was said and done, he told them they could keep everything. I can sign the house over to my other aunt, and because she's disabled, it will be considered a gift from my grandpa. She can then sign it over to me. It will be mine. For real this time. I'll still have to make payments on it, but wont have to get a loan. I'll just pay into a trust fund. He's going to take care of everything so they wont have to go through probate when something happens to Grandpa. So, my mom can keep her house, she doesnt have to move in here, and we get to stay. He hopes it can all be done by the end of the month.
It seems to me that someone much higher up wants the girls and I to live here as much as we want to live here.

Warmth

The furnace guys are coming today. I should have heat by the weekend! Thats always a good thing at this time of year.

Ahhhhh....

What a wonderful weekend. It was the crafter/quilter retreat at Round Lake. I went after work on Friday, and left today around 3. We had so much fun!
Friday night we stayed up til around 2, then went to our room and chatted til about 3. Up and at 'em bright and early Saturday morning for breakfast at 8. Then we had the day to do what we wanted. I almost finished Mr Richard's scrapbook. Other than that, I made cards. I didnt get any of my own scrapbooking done, but I didnt take anything intending to get any done. I should keep the momentum going and work on it here now.
Saturday after dinner we were hitting a real tired time, so we took a nap for about an hour. That gave us our second wind. At 3 am Heather got out stuff to do a "project". We made ornaments. It was fun. Then at 3:30 (which was actually 4:30 old time---it was daylight savings weekend) we decided to go to bed. But first we did cartwheels in the hallway.
This morning was pajama worship, then crafting the rest of the day. We had to be out by 2:30-3:00 today.

Its nice to be home, but this weekend is something I've really come to look forward to. Its so relaxing, refreshing, and just plain fun.

Now I need to catch up on my rest. I'm not really overly tired, but I think I could go to bed now and sleep til tomorrow... :)

One down...

IT PASSED. IT PASSED!

Need I say more??? :)

Waiting...

So today is the day. Today we find out whether we'll continue to have community elementary schools, or whether they'll be closed and torn down. I'm really stressed today. If this doesn't pass, I'll be crying tonight, for more than one reason. I really hope people dig deep and search their hearts and do what's right.

Last night was the first night I heard Brenna say how stressed she is about the whole situation. Thats sad. The kids should not have to worry about these things. They should just enjoy school and being kids. I hope they have reason to relax tomorrow!

Oh, and the big girls party went well. Before Matthew even got home he was texting Ali saying how they need to do that again soon. I dont think they did much, but I guess they had a good time just being together.

In other news...I have to come up with the money to keep the house. The nursing home is already asking about it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. Mom said one solution would be for her to sell her house, renovate the basement, and move in here. While it wouldnt be all bad, I dont want that at all. I want the basement for the girls to hang out in. I want a cool place to go in the summer. I want to have parties and get togethers.... There has to be another way. I have the ping pong table, bowling table, etc...for the girls. Where am I supposed to put those??? There has to be another way...

Ahhhh....

Breathing a sigh of relief. The bookfair, and the longest week I've had in a long time, is over. Feels good. I think the bookfair was pretty successful. I kept a bunch of books out of the bookfair for me to add to the library, and still have a bit of money to spend. Its kinda fun. :)

Yesterday I went to the 6th grade room towards the end of the day (they were having their end of the month celebrations) and asked for volunteers to come help tear down the bookfair. I had 6 BOYS come down to help...gave up their free time and a bit of outside time to help me in the library. So I bought them each a pop, and we were done in about 30 minutes. I appreciated their help a bunch!

Then after school Livi had 3 friends, and Maddy had 1 come over for a little party. They ate donuts off a string and bobbed for apples. Then they had pizza, played for just a bit, then went home. I think it was a success, even for only 2 hours. It made Livi happy to be able to have a party, made the kids happy to do some fun things, and made me happy to have them out after a short time, lol. :)

Tonight the big girls are having their party. I have no clue what they're going to do. We looked in to a murder mystery, but didnt know how many kids were going to end up coming. So, I'm thinking bonfire, maybe a scary movie, pizza.... Just dont know. So we'll see. Of course, this one is going to be coed, and longer---4 hours. Hope I'm still breathing that sigh of relief when its over. :)