Warming Up

The guy from Community Action came today to do the weatherization check on the house. We failed miserably. He couldnt believe how high the number was when he hooked the fan to the front door and measured the amount of air flowing through the house (with closed windows and doors). He said it was like leaving a 4' X 4' window open all the time. No wonder its so cold in here in the winter!
He also shut the gas off to the furnace. He said its not safe at all! Nice. It is original to the house though...

After all was said and done and checked, this is what he came up with:

-New boiler. A few new pipes where some have been replaced with plastic. They're not approved for the heating system.
-New hot water heater. This one is only about 2 years old, but the valve on it doesnt work properly, so it will get replaced. (and wrapped)
-Insulation blown in the attics.
-Insulation blown in all the outside walls. Unfortunately this means they have to cut holes in all the walls except the family room to do this. I guess its worth it to have a warm house.
-Take down old insulation in the basement garage and put in new insulation board, and blow it with filler. (more pipe work here, and a bit of electric work as well)
-Vent the dryer. Its not vented right now, and wasnt vented properly.
-Spray insulation around the top of the foundation and stick other insulation to it to fill in all gaps.

I will be so happy to get this done. I think it will make such a huge difference. I'll be anxious to see how much the bills go down.
He also told me to go to metropolitan housing to see about getting some upgrades done to the house...such as a finished bathroom in the basement and the bathrooms redone upstairs. I will probably go there next week to see what they can do.

I hate being poor. I really do. But its nice to know these agencies are out there to help me get things in order so I can make it.

Hoping...

They say patience is a virtue....I'll have to take their word for it...

It always helps

Tonight was the annual church hayride. They tried something different this year, and started games for the kids at 4. They had a blast. Then we ate at 5 (hotdog roast/carry-in). Then the hayride. The whole evening is just so much fun. Time to talk, have fun, forget about other things for awhile.
Plus the weather is finally cooperating and it feels like fall. We wore sweatshirts and jackets, and it felt nice to sit around the fire.

This weekend went way to fast though. I could really use another day to just rest.

Needing Something Happy

I'm just feeling blah. I have over a month until the levy vote. That is creating a lot of stress for me right now:
What can I do to be getting the word out, and getting people to really understand how important this is? What am I going to do about my kids education if this fails? What am *I* going to do if this fails? I dont want to think about it, it makes my head hurt, but I'm not sure what to do until I know the results.

Life is just a bit emotional right now. Lots of things going on, lots of things I'd like to have going on. :)

I need to get out and do something fun to get my mind off things for awhile.

Heavy Heart...

I went to the board meeting last night. I honestly could just sit here and cry today. I feel so bad. If the levy doesnt pass in November, my whole world (as well as the girls) is going to change. And I cant say its for the better.
They've proposed to close three elementary schools, and of course ours is one of them. They would have PK-3rd in AC, 4-6 at the current middle school, and 7-12 at the high school. Thats awful. The schools are going to be busting at the seams! On top of that, they'd lose 12 elementary teachers, 4 secondary teachers, possibly 1 special ed teacher, 3 secretaries, 3 librarians, 2 administrators, 3 custodians and some other aides. It just breaks my heart.
So not only will the girls all have to go to different schools, I would be out of a job...just as things are starting to look up, things are not looking real good right now.

I'm still not sure they're going about this entirely the right way. The two big things that hit Wooster hard were no sports/extracurriculars, and state minimum bussing. I didnt hear anything about those. I just dont know if it will pass with what they're proposing, even though its HUGE. I dont know how to get people to understand. I'm still considering an email to the superintendent. If they have considered those things, I'd like to know why they decided not to put them on the chopping block.

I dont know what I will do if the levy fails. Obviously I cant move, but I'm not sure I want my kids in this school district anymore. I cant believe I'm actually saying something like that. But they're planning on going to college. They need to have extracurriculars on their applications. They're super students academically, but they need the extra stuff too. What are they going to do in a school with no sports? No musicals? No marching band? No fall play?

I sure hope people open their eyes and see how important this is, and what they're denying our kids if this fails.

In the Blink of an Eye

How fast things can change. Thursday evening I was at JRL watching Brenna's volleyball game. The 7th grade game was over, the 8th grade team was just finishing warm ups when the principal came in the gym and announced that the tornado sirens were going off in town and we needed to get to the middle of the school now. So everyone left the gym and went to the middle classrooms to wait. And wait. And wait. It didnt look windy, just some rain. We had really been oblivious to anything going on outside besides a bit of rain. After about 20 minutes, we were given the all clear. I took the little girls and B and we went home. Ali was here with a friend... I was actually glad she wasnt alone. Thankfully the tornado didnt come near the school, or my house, but it hit about 5 miles up the road and did a LOT of damage. They classified it as an F-2. The most damage was to the OARDC/ATI and surrounding area, but it went further than that.
Tomorrow the church has organized a work crew to help a family from church whose house was hit. The insurance will take care of the house things (windows, roof, garage) but not the trees that fell in the yard (over 25). So I'm going to help, and hoping for a bit of firewood for next year. (I would go help even if I dont get any wood.)
We lost power for 22.5 hours. Thankfully that was it. There are some places still w/o electricity. We also didnt have school Friday since there was no electricity. That really stinks since 1-I dont get paid for it now, 2-we only get 3 snow days this year and we've used one already, and 3-I couldnt even do things around here like vacuum, laundry, dishes, etc. But it came back on a bit after 4 on Friday, so all is well now.
I'm just so amazed how fast things happened. I didnt even know what was going on, and couldnt find out for quite some time due to the power outage. I'm just glad everyone is ok.

Busy Fun Weekend

Saturday Dad and Sis came in for the fair. We got there a little after 9 Saturday morning. We walked through the barns, got Lerch's donuts, then got ride bands, and the riding began. The girls rode and rode and rode. They had so much fun. We stayed until at least 3:30 or so, and we were all pretty wiped out by then. Thankfully we made it out before the rain came that evening.

Sunday we went back to the fair for a bit and took Grandpa. We're not sure if he enjoyed it or not, but at least we all went together. We only stayed an hour or so, and he was tired.

Today there was no school because of the fair. There is no way I'm taking the girls on fair day. I'll probably end up going next year (if I can) to listen to the band since Alexis will be playing. This year we decided to go to the Cleveland zoo instead. It was a really nice day. We had great weather, it wasnt crowded, and met my brother there. It was fun.

Tomorrow is back to the grind.

Looking Up?

I have a happy heart this morning. Saw a post on facebook last night from my friend. He started a couple paintings last night and posted pics. It was so nice to see that. Then he IMd me. He said it was because of me that he painted last night. Its part of what I told him. He has started thinking of painting as a way to support him in his later years, instead of something fun and relaxing which is why he started doing it. I told him he needed to paint with that in mind instead of thinking it might be a "career" someday. So he did. I think sometimes someone else's point of view can help. I'm glad I can from time to time. :)

I talked to Patty at school yesterday and she said I can probably use the extra classroom from time to time so I'll have access to a smartboard. Yay! Now I need to come up with some ideas for that.

The fair is this coming weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

Getting It...

Its coming together. Getting ready to start week 3 and I have all the plans done except 3rd grade activity. (I have the book ready, just not sure what I'm going to do with it.) All the other classes are done for this week. I have a feeling we're going to be doing a lot of games with sight words and letters in the younger grades. They definately need that reinforcement!

Got another email from my friend. I'm hoping he can see where I'm coming from with the monotony causing depression. Even if its not causing it, it definately wont make it any better! I'm thinking about emailing Pastor Jack about it and seeing if he will email him...just to make contact. When I asked my friend about talking with Jack, he said he isn't opposed to it, but isn't sure about it because of the whole faith issue. He doesnt know where he stands with that yet.

So, things are coming together.

Better

This was definately a better week at work. I had things planned, the computer worked all week...it was good. Except for the heat. Holy cow it was HOT! We had like at least 6 straight days at 90+ degrees. Doesnt make for a fun time in an unairconditioned school. I took some of the classes outside to read to them, and one day they came looking for us because we missed a practice tornado drill. Lovely, lol.

Tonight was the homecoming. It was fun. We got there, ate, then I sat with Grandpa for awhile. Mom and Aunt Jackie went to get him. He had a great time. It was so nice that so many people came over to say hi. I know there are people that avoid people after they've had a stroke, but those people who came over really made his day. He will probably sleep all day tomorrow, but it was worth it for him to be out for awhile tonight.

I played bingo with Pennie, Heather and Stacie. It was nice to just sit around and chat with them for awhile. We're thinking about a trip to New York City over a long weekend to celebrate us all turning 40. Wow---40!

The downside to tonight is my poor kiddos. Alexis had to help clear tables for an hour or so, and when she was done she went to Mike's to sleep on the couch. She had a friend over, so she stayed at the homecoming and hung out with some other friends for awhile. We got ready to leave, and Alexis and Madelyn both have headaches and fevers. Mike took Ali's friend home and is keeping Livi overnight (she was so excited). Brenna was supposed to have a friend spend the night too, but she went to her house instead. Hopefully they'll stay healthy.

So here I sit in the peace and quiet tonight. Seems strange.

***Insert Sigh Here***

Inhale. Exhale. Its nice to have the first week down. Its been a trying one, but I feel things will only get better now. I have the weekend to get some things done at school. Then I'll have a plan in place for next week and wont have to stress every night about things working or being ready for class. Hopefully I'll sleep better too. I'm in serious need of some sleep.

Is it Friday yet? (Or even bedtime?)

I cant sleep. My body is not meant to sleep from 10pm to 6 am. I need to sleep from 11 (or so) until 7 am. 6 am is killing me! (Ok, so 6 am wouldnt be quite so bad if it didnt come so early...there is something very wrong with getting up before the sun. But really, if I could fall asleep earlier, then I could tolerate 6 better.)

Today was a rough day. Its my longest by far. I have 6 classes on Thursdays. The good thing is the day flies by since I'm busy non-stop. But geesh, ALL the kids were so chatty today! I hope its just a back to school thing, and not a whole year thing. I dont like kids to get in trouble, but I'm not going to put up with the noise and not listening all year.

Then I come home and the girls are just as bad today. My head is NOT happy tonight. They girls were fighting, arguing and just generally being loud. Then I dont know what was going on with A and B, but B ends up with big scratch/claw marks across her side that were actually bleeding in places. Nope, I will NOT put up with that stuff at all! Arguing, wrestling around, etc is one thing... Deliberately trying to hurt someone is another. Bedtime is rapidly approaching.

Is it Friday yet?

Thoughts...

I was going to come here and post, but I stopped to read a friend's blog first, and what she had to say is going to change this post somewhat. It was really inspiring.

This week at my new job has not started off well. I got on the computer, only to find out I didnt have a user ID or password. Got that taken care of. Tried to log in to the library software, only to find I didnt have a user ID or password. Hmmmm, sound familiar? And no, its not the same one. I tried all of mine, with no luck. I could log in under the substitute ID, but that only gave me limited access to the program. No one at school seemed to know what needed done. So I made several phone calls with no answers. Finally, an email was answered and got me started on the right track. I could now long in. But the problems I was finding were still there. Sent another email. Heard back today, and when I had a free moment, I logged in remotely and the lady from the central office took over my computer. I watched her download the updates, work on my programs...and finally she opened a document to chat with me. She asked me a couple questions, then showed me how to do things. Then asked another, and showed me again. It was SO helpful. She organized all my classes for me, and then told me how to print them out. I'm ready to go! Open for business, lol.

But what does my friend's post have to do with this? She reminded me that through all the trouble, frustrations, ups and downs, there's only one thing I really need to think about...would I rather be buried under the weight of this world, or embrace the life of Christ? And you know, the one thing I prayed for last night was to go to school today and have the answers I needed to get my computer running the way I need it to. And look what I got...

What do people do without faith?

I'm Ready.

Well, as ready as I'm gonna be. The library is decorated for the most part. I found the perfect book to read tomorrow (only one class)...its called The First Day of School Around the World. How awesome is that??? Oh, in case I havent mentioned, the theme for the library this year is "Where will reading take YOU this year?". So it works great. Hopefully when I read it tonight I'll find it to be appropriate for the younger kids this week too.

I still have sooooo much to learn. I have to get a log in for the computers. I need to learn how to make bar codes for the new kids, and how to check in/out books. I need to make plans for the classes. Not sure what I'm going to do with the kiddos. I need to check with the teachers and see what kinds of activities they'd like me to do.

I'm excited but nervous to start this new adventure. Its so nice to be back in the work force, especially somewhere I'm familiar with people I already know (for the most part). But I'm still uncertain about what is totally expected of me...

Clearing the Mind...

I'm so tired, but I have soooo much running through my head I cant sleep. I'm going to try to dump it all here so I can get some rest.

First is school. The meetings werent so bad today, and I made it through. But I still have so many questions! I dont know how to use the phone system, I think I have a mailbox somewhere on the copier, but no clue how to get to it, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to turn in "lesson plans" for what I'm doing during the week.... I need to come up with a theme for the library, but not sure what direction to go with that, I need to get bulletin boards covered this weekend, I need to decide what to do with the classes the first week...
I dont know if the library gets any PTO money this year, and how do I decide what books to buy if I do get some? I need to get the book fair date set.
I'm sure once I get going, it wont be quite as overwhelming as it seems now. My head is spinning. Maybe I should FB Shannon so she can keep me filled in on what I'm supposed to be doing, lol. I hope they cut me some slack the first few weeks since this was so last minute. I had less than a week to get ready...

I have to get my house cleaned so the weatherization guys can come on Monday afternoon.

I need to get the dissolution papers filled out, and have Mike do the quit claim deeds.

I'm worried about my friend, and hope he's doing ok.

Making Friends

That is what we're supposed to do at school, right? Tonight was open house at school. We took Livi to her class (man its HOT up there!) and talked to her teacher. Then we went to Maddy's class. There is a new teacher there this year, well, new to our school but not the district. She's really nice. She and Mrs Conrad are co-teaching this year---job sharing actually. So I was talking to them for a bit. I mentioned how I'm dreading tomorrow and the district meeting, and they said they'd save me a seat so I dont have to look for someone to sit with. I thought that was really nice. Guess thats a good example for my kids too. :)

In other news, I'm a bit worried about RTS. He's having some personal issues, and not being able to deal with them they way they need dealt with is definately not helping. He told me not to worry, but how can I not??? Just wish there was something I could do to help.

Take a Deep Breath

I'm feeling just a bit overwhelmed right now. I have SO much to do...here and getting ready for school. I have laundry to get caught up on, planning on what to do at school, finding stuff for school, etc. Tomorrow, Mom and I have to get phones transferred; we all need haircuts; we need to get the last few things for school...

Breathe in...breathe out... I know it will all fall into place.

Past and Future

Ok, so here goes...

The year I graduated, I started working at a smaller convenient-type store in the next town over. I worked evenings, and it was actually pretty fun with the people I worked with. I left for college, but moved back after a semester and worked there again while going to the local college.

Not exactly sure of the precise time, but one night a guy that worked at the restaurant next door came in. At that very moment, I believed in love at first sight. :) He's not the drop dead gorgeous type, but so cute. He's too skinny. He's super friendly. He hung around and we chatted while I worked. I think he came in every night after that when he got off work. (He lived above the restaurant.)

We got to be really good friends. I went to his apartment a couple times after work just to chat and listen to him play the guitar. He's so talented!

And then he broke my heart. He asked me if I thought a friend I worked with would consider going out with him. I was crushed. But, me being the good friend that I am, said why not try. So they started dating. We still stayed friends. We still hung out at times. I came in to work one night and there were 6 yellow roses and a card waiting for me in the cooler from him, just for being a good friend. That was one of the nicest things anyone had done for me. He and my friend got engaged. I was going to be in the wedding, and even had measurements taken for the bridesmaid dress. Then she broke it off and pretty much disappeared for awhile. But he and I stayed friends. I had started dating dh, and I dont remember if it was right before I got married, or right after, but right around my wedding time I got a letter from my friend (this was before email), and he said he had had a crush on me. Broken heart #2. I thought it was too late to break things off. So I went ahead with it. We all know how that turned out. (Although I wouldnt change a thing, because that would mean giving up my girls, which I wouldnt trade for anything in the world!)

Anyway, we've stayed friends all these years. I've met him a couple times for lunch, and got to tour his recording studio when he had it. But thats about the extent of seeing him. We've stayed in touch through email.

Now I'm going through a divorce. He is still single. Could there be a chance? He is still so much in my heart. I dont know that I can, or want to, go out with anyone else until I know if there is a chance with him. The thought has always been in my mind, and I feel its an unresolved issue with me. I've spent a lot of time wondering "what if...". I dont want to spend the rest of my life wondering the same thing.

Of course, I'm not sure I have the guts to make the move. I've asked if he wants to have lunch or hang out or something, and he said sure, but so far it hasnt happened. I know he's having some issues in his life right now.... I'm just not sure what to do.

...and now you know, the rest of the story. (but I hope its not the end of the story) :)

Lookin' Up!

WOOHOO! They called this afternoon and offered me the job! I'm so excited! I have to meet with the superintendent on Monday, then he'll present it to the board Monday night, and then I'll be officially hired. Woohoo!



I am really happy to be working again. I hope everything else falls into place like its supposed to. This job is going to be great for the situation. I'll work school days/hours, have holidays off, snow days, etc. (Not sure about inservice days and such) I'll be off in time to catch the girls extracurriculars, which is great since 7th grade games start at 4:15. I'll still get the little girls on the bus, be home when they get here... I'm happy!

The Waiting Continues...

I had my interview today. I have no idea how it went, but I think it went well. Its been so long since I've been through one... I think its good that they know me already. If everyone they interviewed went in and said the same things, at least they know my personality and such, and I'd hope that would give me a bit of an edge. :) They said they'd let me know Monday or Tuesday.

Brenna started volleyball this week. So far its a lot of conditioning, and she's pretty sore. But I dont hear her complaining, so she must be enjoying it. She was really hoping they dont have to run on the track today.

We went to see Grandpa today. I can still see progress. I'm so amazed at how much more he uses his right hand/arm, and how much stronger it seems to be getting. I dont know if he's been standing or walking (or trying to take steps yet), but Aunt Jackie seems to think thats what they've been working on. He just wants to go home so bad.

I forgot to get cilantro at the store yesterday. I have a bunch of grape tomatoes that are ripe, and maybe even some regular ones. I have one pepper, and a jalepeno or two ready, and I'd like to make some salsa. Might have to take a drive later. :) (I dont have any chips either.)