Sunday, April 29, 2012

End of Week 5

I am epically failing my first challenge.  I'm no farther along than I was when I started.  I like the quote from this week...on to plan B...or C, or ZZZZZZZZZZ

Last week:
Lose 2 lbs: no, although I didnt weigh this morning, so I'm not positive about that.
NSV:  Take pics and post meals: no.  Not even one
Nutrition: count calories...stay between 1200 and 1500.  Only tracked one day I think
Exercise: 3 days.  No.

See, epically failing.  I'll get there.

Week 6.

Lose something.  Anything. 
NSV: Going to try pics again.  Its harder than I thought it might be.
Nutrition: Healthy eating. Count calories.
Exercise:  Yes.  Something.  I'm feeling the need to do something strength wise to work on my arms.  We had sign ups for our church softball team today and I need to be ready.

Things are rough.  I'm not sure when I'm going to make it to the grocery store this week.  My mom is doing a bit better, so that helps.  But my bathroom is still torn completely apart.  I did finally get it primed today, so hoping to have some time to paint tomorrow.  Then maybe I can tile the floor...Wednesday (or Thursday if I'm not working).  (I have a meeting Tuesday evening, so it wont happen then.) 

And then there's the hubs.  We've been separated for 2 years.  We are amicable...he stops when he wants to see the girls, will help me with stuff that needs fixed here, etc.  We're better friends now than we were when we were living together.  We filled out dissolution papers awhile ago, but neither of us has the money to file them.  He stayed with the girls on Friday while I went out with some ladies from work.  When I got home, he wants to talk.  He said he's done a lot of growing up, and a lot of thinking, and he'd like to work on us and see if we can save our marriage.  I dont know what to think.  I certainly didnt go into my marriage intending to get divorced, but things happen.  But I did spend a lot of time getting myself to the place I am now after he moved out.  And I'm happy.   I'm probably willing to give it a try, but I'm so guarded...I dont want to get hurt again. 
Just add another chapter of stress to my life...  :)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Like the pictures?

For those of you that post pics of your food, how do you remember to do it?  Or better yet, how did you start out?  I cant remember to even get the camera out!  (I carry it in my purse so I always have it with me)  So yeah, no pics so far this week. 

Its another one of those stressful weeks.  I feel like I'm getting nowhere on the bathroom remodel.  I mean, I am, but there are too many holes to patch (from when they blew insulation in the walls, so they're big) and its not working like I was hoping, so I'm still waiting on it to dry.

Then my mom is not good again.  She has the drain in and was doing pretty well the first couple days, but has taken a step backwards now.  So I've been spending time down there helping her.

Thankfully I'm not turning to food or anything, but I'm also not accomplishing my goals.  Ugh!  I. am. stressed.  I'm supposed to spend the day tomorrow with my friends but I feel like I should stay home with my mom.  I guess I'll see how she feels tomorrow.  I'd just like to get out for a bit.  Sigh...

Sunday, April 22, 2012

End of Week 4

This is SO not going as I had hoped.  I need to make permanent changes in my life so when life gets in the way, my eating and exercising and everything else dont get pushed to the back.  Sigh...  It was a super rough week, and super busy, but that is going to happen in life (probably more often than I'd like in mine), and I need to learn to deal with it!

So, last week:
Lose 2 lbs:  No.  I actually think I'm up about 3 maybe.  Yep, there it is.
NSV 
Nutrition:  Portion control:  sort of
Exercise: At least 3 days.  Geesh, I did this one week and lost 4.6lbs...and no real exercise since then.  Grrr.

Week 5...the half way week:
Weight loss:  AT LEAST 2 LBS!  No excuses not to hit this this week!
NSV:  Take pics of what I eat and post them to stay accountable!
Nutrition:  Count calories~~Stay between 1200 and 1500.  No sweets until Sunday.  (Lent was so good for me on this one!)
Exercise: DO SOMETHING.  I havent been to softball practice with the girls in a week and a half with all the appointments and such going on, so I havent been walking.  It makes me feel so good when I do.  I'd really really like to start the 30 day shred this week, but I'm not sure thats going to happen.  If not, then next week.

I need to make my health a priority.  (Its just so hard when my mom is in the hospital 2 hours away and my daughter has appointments in the opposite direction 1 1/2 hours away.  At least all that is over for now!)

(Oh, and I'll post bathroom remodel pics hopefully tomorrow.  Its just the beginning stages so far, but I hope it doesnt take longer than this week to get it done!)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The good, the bad and the ugly

I think I need to make a change.  I'm thinking to be more accountable, I should start posting what I eat.  I see pics and lists of what some of you are eating, and being really honest, and maybe thats what I need to do.  I've been doing badly again this week.  Its not entirely my fault, but when eating out, I could make better decisions.  Its just been a long hard week.  I think one of my goals for next week will be to do pics (maybe) and post what I'm eating.  I think that will help me choose better.  :)

The good things from the week:
My oldest has a healthy heart!  The cardiologist thinks she is living in a state of dehydration, and needs extra water/fluids to increase her blood volume.  So we're trying to make sure she drinks plenty.  (Non caffeinated, which isn't really a problem at home since we rarely have soda.)  She stands the whole time she is in choir class, so the doc told her to shift her weight and flex her feet.  Keeping her muscles moving will help keep the blood circulating and stop it from pooling in her legs, which is probably causing the black outs.  So overall, good news.

I also brought my mom home from Columbus yesterday.  She has a drain in her liver right now, and will have it until May 1st when she has to go back and probably have a stent put in.  But her lovely yellow color is slowly returning to normal.  Thankfully no surgery at this point.

And then there's always the bad:
When I picked my oldest up from school, she ate lunch here before we left for her appointment.  She was in the basement and called me to come down right away.  There was water pouring out of the ceiling of the new bathroom down there.  AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  At first it was thought to be the wax ring around the toilet in my bathroom, but it turns out to be more than that.  (Well, that might have been it, but the subfloor was all rotted in my bathroom.)  So the ex pulled up the sub floor for me and put  down a new one today.  I ran to Menards today and got a new sink (I've wanted to change out the vanity and sink to a pedestal one) and flooring and paint.  This bathroom needs redone something terribly (its really ugly, and the floor is awful), but I dont really have the money to do it now.  Unfortunately, I have to.  I will take off the wallpaper and paint it yet today (I hope), then put down the tile tomorrow and grout it Monday.  Then hopefully Tuesday the new sink can go in, and I'll have to make a decision about a new toilet or the old one.  I'm not replacing the medicine cabinet yet, and I need to figure out what to do with the shower.  But at least this will be a beginning and hopefully stop the leaking.

My legs will get a good workout tiling.  I did the main bathroom last summer, and was really sore by the time I was done.  At least something will get exercised!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Sigh...

So I ate badly yesterday. I only ate twice, both meals out, neither great. I felt downright awful last night when I got home. They could hear my stomach rumbling from across the room. (Ate at BK on the way home...I cant tell you the last time I ate something like that, even before I started "eating healthy".) It was not nice.
I was so happy to have my salad for lunch today. I think my body thanked me. :)

Tomorrow I'll eat dinner out. My oldest has her appointment with a cardiologist, and I can eat breakfast and lunch at home, but will take her out for dinner afterwards. (Its nice to be able to do that with just one sometimes.) I'm not sure where she's going to want to go, but I will definitely make a better choice than I did yesterday. I dont want to feel like that again.

There has been no exercise so far this week. I was taking care of my mom on Monday, didnt get home from the hospital until almost 9 last night (left at 8:30 am), and had a meeting tonight after work. Sigh... Maybe tomorrow morning since I'm not working. I need life to slow down just a bit.

And then there's stress. I've tried to call and text my mom today, but no answer or reply. My aunt has a call in to the nurse, but she hasn't heard back from them either. Ugh! If we dont hear from anyone tonight, my aunt is heading down at 8 tomorrow morning. I would think someone would have let me know if there were complications, but I think my mom would have called me if she was ok. So I dont know what to think. I hate that she's so far away for things like this. (2 hours, but it was just a "we do it every day" procedure!)

I'm really tired, so I'm heading to bed early. I'm just wearing out this week.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Stress

My nerves are getting the best of me today already, and its only 7am!

Thanks to all of you for the kind words. Its tough right now. We're heading out in about an hour to see the surgeon. My mom ended up coming home Sunday evening, and her appointment in Columbus is today. We dont know if its just a consultation, if they'll end up keeping her, or even if there is anything they can do. I think I'm more nervous about this visit than I have been the previous times we've gone. This surgeon is awesome, and he's done SO much for my mom, but I'm worried after what I heard the ER doc say Friday night. I know there's no used getting worked up right now, since I have no idea what he's going to say, but...

I took yesterday and today off work. Since my mom is living here now (she has her own apartment in the basement, but she's still "here"), I stayed home to "take care of her." I wouldnt have had to, and I know that, but I didnt need the added stress of everything going on at work. The downside... I do SO much better with my eating when I'm at work. I'm really going to have to step it up, pay attention, and not eat out of stress and comfort! I'll be gone all day today, who knows about tomorrow, then Thursday with my daughter. We're leaving a little early this morning because my mom wants to go out for breakfast. I'll try to make good choices and drink lots of water!

Wish me luck this week... Sigh....

Saturday, April 14, 2012

End of Week 3?

I'm not sure how much I'll be around in the next couple days, so I'll post today.

As of right now, I stayed the same. I also only "officially" exercised 2 days, but spent today and yesterday moving my mom. We remodeled the basement, and we moved her in. Unfortunately, there's more to the story (later).
I did ok with eating too, but didnt count calories...just tried to watch portions and such.

Next week I hope to lose 2+ pounds.
I need to exercise at least 3 days (this is going to be iffy)
Count calories (again, iffy for this week)

And here is why things will be a bit iffy. As if things weren't already stressful enough... we took my mom to the ER last night around 8. She came to my house yesterday and was really really jaundiced. (For those of you new to my blog, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer 5 years ago. She's had 4 surgeries, chemo, etc. The last surgery (last year in Feb) was really hard on her, and its been a rough year. We know she still has some spots on her liver.) So I was getting worried. She slept all day, barely woke up to eat or talk...so after much begging, b!tch!in, pleading and crying (me), she finally went. Her bloodwork came back great, except her potassium...it was critically low. So they started her on IV potassium. She also had a CAT scan and x-ray. The scan showed a big change since the last one, and the ER doc told us it's usually pretty bad at this point. He didn't want to tell my mom that yet, he wanted her to talk to her oncologist and a surgeon to see what they had to say. She called today to say they're sending her to Columbus (that is about 2 hours away). She's had all her surgeries there, so they want her to go back there for the consultation. I'm waiting to hear from here to see when she's being transferred, and when I should head down. So I dont know when I'll be eating, what I'll be eating, where I'll be eating/staying if necessary. Everything is a little up in the air.

Oh, and my daughter has her appointment with a pediatric cardiologist on Thursday afternoon (about 1 1/2 hours away near Cleveland). Yes, I live in the middle of nowhere.

But to end on a bright note... We put out an email to our church family on Wednesday saying we were moving Mom today. We had about 35 friends and family show up to help, with about 8 trucks. The first truck pulled in at 8:10 am (she's only moving a mile up the road), and the last truck was done at 10:15 am. I scrambled to finish an early lunch so everyone could eat, and then many stayed to start unpacking boxes and putting things away. They washed and scrubbed and put away until about 4:30pm. There are only a few boxes left my mom will have to sort through. It will be so wonderful for her to come home to a house all put together. I am so blessed. Its been a bit of a rough ride lately, but knowing there are so many people out there that love us and pray for us and are there for us makes it a little easier.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Week 3 Day 1

Today was decent. I ate ok, didnt think I'd get any exercise in, but really felt the need. (Really? Is this really my way of thinking now???) So I did 40 minutes of Just Dance 2 with my girls. So fun, and I was sweating and my arms and legs were getting a workout. The girls laugh at me, but I told them I didnt care, I just wanted to burn calories. If I remember, I'm still going to do some crunches on the ball before bed.

In other news, I left work an hour early today to take my daughter back to the dr. She had another episode yesterday at sunrise service. But this time she got an awful headache afterwards (like right after), and that hasn't happened before. I didnt feel like I should wait until Friday to take her back. So we went this afternoon. She noted her BP to be a little low, but after the tests the other doc did last week, she said she didnt really have anything left to do in the office, so she wants her to see a cardiologist to have an echocardiogram. My daughter just turned 15. How can she need this???! The doc is thinking her heart is healthy, but they just want to be sure its pumping correctly. They're not sure why her bp is dropping so much, but its not as concerning since its not happening during activity. They'll call me tomorrow with the appointment time. I'm not overly worried yet... I'll wait to see what we find out there first. I just want to know how we can keep the episodes from happening.

It feels like today has been such a long day!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

End of Week 2

Well, lets just say week 2 was WAY better than week 1. There's a lot to be said about people stopping by to see how you're doing, lol.

WL: At least 2 lbs Yes! Actually, I lost 4.6 lbs this week. Woohoo!

NSV: Get some things done around here. We're on spring break, so I should have time Hmmm, I suppose I did get some things done, but it was really busy for being on break!

Nutrition: Count calories 6/7 days (I dont count on Sundays) Yes. There were some things I couldnt count, but I took a decent guess. Paid off anyway. :)

Exercise: Yes. At minimum 3 times! Again, being on spring break should leave no excuses! Yes! 4 days actually.

So, for next week:

WL: I'd like to keep it at 2 weeks, but I know after a really good week like this past one, its usually a disappointment.

NSV:

Nutrition: My body really doesn't like me to count calories two weeks in a row. I know this is going to sound really dumb, but I can expect to lose 0 if I do exactly the same thing as last week. So for this week I'm going to watch portions, but not be as tight on calorie counting...or watching wheat/carbs.

Exercise: I'm leaving this at 3 days minimum again. Would like to find other things to do when I cant get outside (and just to change things up). Any suggestions for a good (but cheap) yoga video? Or some other fun dance/aerobic video? Hmmm, we have 3 dance games for the Wii that I need to remember too. Love those (even though the girls make fun of me...yet I still beat them!).

Have a great week 3!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Day 5 Week 2

What has happened to me?

Its a lazy Friday today...I took my daughter (the same one from the dr incident) and 3 of her friends bowling today. Got them pizza, and now they're just hanging out here playing the Wii. I messed around here for awhile, doing a little of this, a little of that (because I cleaned this morning). I ate some bad stuff... like 3 small pieces of pizza and a couple cookies. (I'm thankful we got medium pizzas and they're cut into 10 pieces!) I sit down to relax and just have this nagging feeling...get up, get up. I don't want to. I got in my 3 days of exercise this week, so I've met that goal.

Get up! You ate badly today...too many carbs...you are .4lbs from hitting 20 lbs lost and you would love to see that number tomorrow...GET UP!

So I did. And I walked 2 miles. Can I just say it sucks living at the top of a hill???!!! Which ever route I choose to walk, I start out downhill and then have to come back uphill. Ugh! But I did. And I feel good. And my shins hurt now, because we walked hills last night too. But I feel good. And thats all that really matters in the end.

But that wasn't quite enough to silence the voice. So I also did crunches on the exercise ball and resistance bands on my arms.

Now there's no more guilt for sitting here the rest of the evening. I think my friend is coming over for a bit, so I have no reason not to just sit here and enjoy the company. And I feel good! :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Day 3 Week 2

So tired.

I didnt sleep well at all last night, then had to get up at 6:30 to take my daughter to babysit. Came home and did a few things around the house.

I had to take my oldest daughter to the doc at 1:20. She's been having spells where she gets light headed and her vision goes black and she said everything sounds like she's underwater. So we went to have her checked out. She had 2 spells while we were there. They did an EKG, sugar test, blood work, etc. Thankfully (I think) they didnt find anything, but he couldnt tell us why it was happening. Our doc was on vacation this week, so he wants us to go back and see her next week to follow up, and see if she wants to do any further testing. So for now we just watch her. (Her BP was low...they took it many times today, and one time it was 96/40!)
But we were at the doc's for THREE HOURS! He wouldnt let us leave until he got her blood work back.

Anyway, the rest of the evening was just as crazy. Ran to Walmart after the docs, then took her to grab something at Taco Bell, then home to grab another daughter for ball practice. I did get in another walk tonight...farther this time. I didnt measure, but it was probably 1 1/2 miles.

Still within calories today too.

Hoping for some good sleep tonight too!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Day 2 Week 2

Another good day!

While I didnt get any exercise in at the park, I did play ball with my daughter tonight while another one practiced. (No walk, just played ball) It was fun! I love softball.

Also had a decent day eating. We took lunch, but did end up grabbing something on the way home later since I wouldn't have time to cook before practice. I logged it all, and all is well calorie wise today.

Feels so much better to be on track!

PS. One more thing...for those of you that track calories online, when do you do it? Throughout the day? All at the end of the day? I've wanted to do it, but I'd need to do it throughout the day so I know where I stand by dinner time. I dont have a smartphone, so no apps for me, and I rarely have time to log things in during the day, or even at night. Any suggestions? Right now I do it all in a notebook, but I love some of the programs you all are using.

Monday, April 2, 2012

First Day Week 2

Today has been SO much better!

I'm at around 1200 calories for the day. I like to keep it a little above that, but that's where I came in tonight, and that's where its staying for today.
Drank plenty of water. Really feel like I could have a bit more, but its too close to bedtime to drink anything else, lol.
Exercised! Yes, you read that right...I got in some exercise. I took my daughter to softball practice, watched a bit, then 2 of my other daughters and I went for a walk. It was only a mile tonight, but it was up and down some hills. (I drove the same route when we left, and it was just about exactly a mile. Good to know for future walks) I could have gone farther easily, but my 7 year old was complaining then whole time, so that was it for today. Next time I'll leave her at home, lol. But hey, its something!

Tomorrow I'm meeting 3 of my friends and their kids at the park. (We have 14 kids among us!) I'm hoping to do a bit of playing (unorganized exercise), even though I'm sure my friends are just planning on chatting. Its so fun when we all get together, which isnt often enough. We've been friends since elementary school! We are each bringing our own picnic lunches, so I'll have total control of what I eat. I'm planning on taking my usual salad, and some kind of fruit. I'm looking forward to it. (Another daughter has practice tomorrow evening, so I may get in another walk too!)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

End of Week One

Sigh...

Week one was definitely not what I had planned, nor was it a success. I'm really going to have to do better.

Weight Loss: Lose 2 lbs (Um, no)
NSV: I didnt really have one (No wonder I couldnt remember and had to go back to look, lol)
Nutrition: I did ok here. I didnt track a couple days due to having things that I had no idea what the calorie count was (such as a carry in lunch at work). So I just watched portions on those days.
Exercise: Still a big fat 0

Man, it hurts to put all that out here for all to see. I dont want to do that again. So for week 2:

WL: At least 2 lbs
NSV: Get some things done around here. We're on spring break, so I should have time
Nutrition: Count calories 6/7 days (I dont count on Sundays)
Exercise: Yes. At minimum 3 times! Again, being on spring break should leave no excuses!

Mini goal: Try an exercise I dont normally do---> Should be pretty easy since I dont normally do any!

So, there it is...in black and white. I will do better this week so I dont have another depressing post like this next Sunday!