Saturday, March 5, 2011

Drama Anyone?

Of course its my own drama. Doesnt really involve anyone else, at least not that they know.

Dh was here last night for over 2 hours. Most of that time we spent talking with me. I have no clue whats up. Things have been less stressful family wise since he moved out. I yell at the girls sometimes (which I really need to stop), but its not like it was when we were all together. But there have been low points too. So last night during our chat, it came up as to whether or not we are fixable. Now? After 10 months apart? And him having a g/f for the last 7 or so? Really? He thinks I want to try to work things out. I dont know if I do or not. Its easier to talk to him now, he's nicer when he's here (most of the time), but what if we would try to work it out....would we just fall back into the same old bad habits and end up where we are now anyway? I do want him to be happy. What if what he has with his gf will make him happy? If we try again and dont work, then he doesnt have me or her. I told him even if I did want to work things out, I wouldnt say anything. I feel that he's obviously moved on. Why should I ruin that? Part of me feel that 16 years was a waste. Thats a LONG time to waste in the big picture of life. I mean, I got my girls out of it, and I wouldnt trade that for the world, but still... Is it worth trying to fix? I just dont know what to do. In my heart, I really dont think we can be fixed, but should it be a priority to try? Like I dont have enough stress....

And then there's my mom. They told her on Thursday she'd be in 4-5 more days. Then Friday they walked in and said "see ya". So she's at aunt Jackie's. I havent gotten the whole story yet, but it sounded like they wanted her to go into nursing care somewhere for awhile first, but no one arranged it so she came home. I'm going to see her after lunch. Dr Martin is great, but the after care there isn't all that great, and it seems like no one talks to each other about what the plan is. They always say one things as to when she's being released, then walk in one day and say "you're going home today". It would be nice if we had time to make a plan! But she's home anyway, and a home health nurse is coming in once a day. All I say is she better not get sick from them letting her go too soon, or to a place she's not ready to be!

And to top it off, they rejected my taxes. Ugh!

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