Friday, August 27, 2010

***Insert Sigh Here***

Inhale. Exhale. Its nice to have the first week down. Its been a trying one, but I feel things will only get better now. I have the weekend to get some things done at school. Then I'll have a plan in place for next week and wont have to stress every night about things working or being ready for class. Hopefully I'll sleep better too. I'm in serious need of some sleep.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Is it Friday yet? (Or even bedtime?)

I cant sleep. My body is not meant to sleep from 10pm to 6 am. I need to sleep from 11 (or so) until 7 am. 6 am is killing me! (Ok, so 6 am wouldnt be quite so bad if it didnt come so early...there is something very wrong with getting up before the sun. But really, if I could fall asleep earlier, then I could tolerate 6 better.)

Today was a rough day. Its my longest by far. I have 6 classes on Thursdays. The good thing is the day flies by since I'm busy non-stop. But geesh, ALL the kids were so chatty today! I hope its just a back to school thing, and not a whole year thing. I dont like kids to get in trouble, but I'm not going to put up with the noise and not listening all year.

Then I come home and the girls are just as bad today. My head is NOT happy tonight. They girls were fighting, arguing and just generally being loud. Then I dont know what was going on with A and B, but B ends up with big scratch/claw marks across her side that were actually bleeding in places. Nope, I will NOT put up with that stuff at all! Arguing, wrestling around, etc is one thing... Deliberately trying to hurt someone is another. Bedtime is rapidly approaching.

Is it Friday yet?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Thoughts...

I was going to come here and post, but I stopped to read a friend's blog first, and what she had to say is going to change this post somewhat. It was really inspiring.

This week at my new job has not started off well. I got on the computer, only to find out I didnt have a user ID or password. Got that taken care of. Tried to log in to the library software, only to find I didnt have a user ID or password. Hmmmm, sound familiar? And no, its not the same one. I tried all of mine, with no luck. I could log in under the substitute ID, but that only gave me limited access to the program. No one at school seemed to know what needed done. So I made several phone calls with no answers. Finally, an email was answered and got me started on the right track. I could now long in. But the problems I was finding were still there. Sent another email. Heard back today, and when I had a free moment, I logged in remotely and the lady from the central office took over my computer. I watched her download the updates, work on my programs...and finally she opened a document to chat with me. She asked me a couple questions, then showed me how to do things. Then asked another, and showed me again. It was SO helpful. She organized all my classes for me, and then told me how to print them out. I'm ready to go! Open for business, lol.

But what does my friend's post have to do with this? She reminded me that through all the trouble, frustrations, ups and downs, there's only one thing I really need to think about...would I rather be buried under the weight of this world, or embrace the life of Christ? And you know, the one thing I prayed for last night was to go to school today and have the answers I needed to get my computer running the way I need it to. And look what I got...

What do people do without faith?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I'm Ready.

Well, as ready as I'm gonna be. The library is decorated for the most part. I found the perfect book to read tomorrow (only one class)...its called The First Day of School Around the World. How awesome is that??? Oh, in case I havent mentioned, the theme for the library this year is "Where will reading take YOU this year?". So it works great. Hopefully when I read it tonight I'll find it to be appropriate for the younger kids this week too.

I still have sooooo much to learn. I have to get a log in for the computers. I need to learn how to make bar codes for the new kids, and how to check in/out books. I need to make plans for the classes. Not sure what I'm going to do with the kiddos. I need to check with the teachers and see what kinds of activities they'd like me to do.

I'm excited but nervous to start this new adventure. Its so nice to be back in the work force, especially somewhere I'm familiar with people I already know (for the most part). But I'm still uncertain about what is totally expected of me...

Friday, August 20, 2010

Clearing the Mind...

I'm so tired, but I have soooo much running through my head I cant sleep. I'm going to try to dump it all here so I can get some rest.

First is school. The meetings werent so bad today, and I made it through. But I still have so many questions! I dont know how to use the phone system, I think I have a mailbox somewhere on the copier, but no clue how to get to it, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to turn in "lesson plans" for what I'm doing during the week.... I need to come up with a theme for the library, but not sure what direction to go with that, I need to get bulletin boards covered this weekend, I need to decide what to do with the classes the first week...
I dont know if the library gets any PTO money this year, and how do I decide what books to buy if I do get some? I need to get the book fair date set.
I'm sure once I get going, it wont be quite as overwhelming as it seems now. My head is spinning. Maybe I should FB Shannon so she can keep me filled in on what I'm supposed to be doing, lol. I hope they cut me some slack the first few weeks since this was so last minute. I had less than a week to get ready...

I have to get my house cleaned so the weatherization guys can come on Monday afternoon.

I need to get the dissolution papers filled out, and have Mike do the quit claim deeds.

I'm worried about my friend, and hope he's doing ok.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Making Friends

That is what we're supposed to do at school, right? Tonight was open house at school. We took Livi to her class (man its HOT up there!) and talked to her teacher. Then we went to Maddy's class. There is a new teacher there this year, well, new to our school but not the district. She's really nice. She and Mrs Conrad are co-teaching this year---job sharing actually. So I was talking to them for a bit. I mentioned how I'm dreading tomorrow and the district meeting, and they said they'd save me a seat so I dont have to look for someone to sit with. I thought that was really nice. Guess thats a good example for my kids too. :)

In other news, I'm a bit worried about RTS. He's having some personal issues, and not being able to deal with them they way they need dealt with is definately not helping. He told me not to worry, but how can I not??? Just wish there was something I could do to help.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Take a Deep Breath

I'm feeling just a bit overwhelmed right now. I have SO much to do...here and getting ready for school. I have laundry to get caught up on, planning on what to do at school, finding stuff for school, etc. Tomorrow, Mom and I have to get phones transferred; we all need haircuts; we need to get the last few things for school...

Breathe in...breathe out... I know it will all fall into place.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Past and Future

Ok, so here goes...

The year I graduated, I started working at a smaller convenient-type store in the next town over. I worked evenings, and it was actually pretty fun with the people I worked with. I left for college, but moved back after a semester and worked there again while going to the local college.

Not exactly sure of the precise time, but one night a guy that worked at the restaurant next door came in. At that very moment, I believed in love at first sight. :) He's not the drop dead gorgeous type, but so cute. He's too skinny. He's super friendly. He hung around and we chatted while I worked. I think he came in every night after that when he got off work. (He lived above the restaurant.)

We got to be really good friends. I went to his apartment a couple times after work just to chat and listen to him play the guitar. He's so talented!

And then he broke my heart. He asked me if I thought a friend I worked with would consider going out with him. I was crushed. But, me being the good friend that I am, said why not try. So they started dating. We still stayed friends. We still hung out at times. I came in to work one night and there were 6 yellow roses and a card waiting for me in the cooler from him, just for being a good friend. That was one of the nicest things anyone had done for me. He and my friend got engaged. I was going to be in the wedding, and even had measurements taken for the bridesmaid dress. Then she broke it off and pretty much disappeared for awhile. But he and I stayed friends. I had started dating dh, and I dont remember if it was right before I got married, or right after, but right around my wedding time I got a letter from my friend (this was before email), and he said he had had a crush on me. Broken heart #2. I thought it was too late to break things off. So I went ahead with it. We all know how that turned out. (Although I wouldnt change a thing, because that would mean giving up my girls, which I wouldnt trade for anything in the world!)

Anyway, we've stayed friends all these years. I've met him a couple times for lunch, and got to tour his recording studio when he had it. But thats about the extent of seeing him. We've stayed in touch through email.

Now I'm going through a divorce. He is still single. Could there be a chance? He is still so much in my heart. I dont know that I can, or want to, go out with anyone else until I know if there is a chance with him. The thought has always been in my mind, and I feel its an unresolved issue with me. I've spent a lot of time wondering "what if...". I dont want to spend the rest of my life wondering the same thing.

Of course, I'm not sure I have the guts to make the move. I've asked if he wants to have lunch or hang out or something, and he said sure, but so far it hasnt happened. I know he's having some issues in his life right now.... I'm just not sure what to do.

...and now you know, the rest of the story. (but I hope its not the end of the story) :)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Lookin' Up!

WOOHOO! They called this afternoon and offered me the job! I'm so excited! I have to meet with the superintendent on Monday, then he'll present it to the board Monday night, and then I'll be officially hired. Woohoo!



I am really happy to be working again. I hope everything else falls into place like its supposed to. This job is going to be great for the situation. I'll work school days/hours, have holidays off, snow days, etc. (Not sure about inservice days and such) I'll be off in time to catch the girls extracurriculars, which is great since 7th grade games start at 4:15. I'll still get the little girls on the bus, be home when they get here... I'm happy!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Waiting Continues...

I had my interview today. I have no idea how it went, but I think it went well. Its been so long since I've been through one... I think its good that they know me already. If everyone they interviewed went in and said the same things, at least they know my personality and such, and I'd hope that would give me a bit of an edge. :) They said they'd let me know Monday or Tuesday.

Brenna started volleyball this week. So far its a lot of conditioning, and she's pretty sore. But I dont hear her complaining, so she must be enjoying it. She was really hoping they dont have to run on the track today.

We went to see Grandpa today. I can still see progress. I'm so amazed at how much more he uses his right hand/arm, and how much stronger it seems to be getting. I dont know if he's been standing or walking (or trying to take steps yet), but Aunt Jackie seems to think thats what they've been working on. He just wants to go home so bad.

I forgot to get cilantro at the store yesterday. I have a bunch of grape tomatoes that are ripe, and maybe even some regular ones. I have one pepper, and a jalepeno or two ready, and I'd like to make some salsa. Might have to take a drive later. :) (I dont have any chips either.)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Bits n Pieces

I have an interview next week! Woohoo! I'm soooooo hoping to get this job! Its at the elementary school for the librarian job. Would be a great place to start.

I have a hearing at the Wayne county child support agency on Monday. Not sure why we have to do this right now. I dont know how they can "order" him to pay child support when he doesnt have a job or any income at all while workers comp jerks him around. He's still paying me, so what does it matter? I guess we'll see what they have to say.

Hmmm, what else? I think Mike is bailing on his visitation tomorrow. He said he figured since my dad was coming, I'd want them. Then ask. My dad wont be here til dinner time, is staying with my uncle, and Sis has the county home picnic from noon til 4, so no one will be here anyway. But he said he's already made other plans. Yeah, wonder what happens when I make plans and want him to take them on my weekend????

Not much else. Hoping for more news in the near future!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Really Bad at This

So I've gotten out of the habit of writing. I'm going to pick it up a bit. Its just, I'm so boring! I mean, really, what is there to write about???

The school levy failed again yesterday. Stupid stupid people. Ok, I know times are tough...I mean, I really know...but still. There isnt ANYTHING more important than an education. No matter what you decide to do, you need at least a basic education. But yet, they keep cutting our funding, and people dont want to pay, which I understand, but then the outcome is not good. More dropouts, less individual attention and help, etc. Plus, we now have pay to participate...not just sports, but the musical, play, power of the pen, etc. So its going to end up being extracurriculars are only for kids whose parents can afford to pay. That means more kids on the street after school instead of practice. That means less kids who get the "well rounded" education that looks so good on college applications. Does anyone thing about any of this? Or just the money? There has to be a better way to fund schools!

I'm still waiting to hear about the librarian position at school.

Brenna starts volleyball next week. Mom decided to pay for that for us. Thankfully Alexis will play soccer and softball, both of which aren't through the school. We'll have to pay for those, but not as much as if it was a "school" sport. Next year it will be.

I have a meeting Monday with the child support agency. Not really sure what thats all about. We dont have anything court ordered yet, but Mike is still paying each month. So not sure what this is about. Its because I signed the girls up for Medicaid. When he lost his job, they lost insurance. Not much we can do about that at the moment. He's planning on picking them up again when this whole workers comp is straightened out, but they're really being stupid. Until then....

The garden is growing. I'm surprised anything is living. The ground is SO hard! But, I picked my first handful of grape tomatoes yesterday. I have a TON of green tomatoes. I'll have to make salsa or sauce or something (I'm sure it wont make much, but its more than we can eat at one time). I saw 2 green beans (lol) on 2 plants, and one pepper thats coming along. I'm planning on tilling and weeding tomorrow to help things along. I'd like to start composting too so I can have some good stuff to plant in next year!

See, I told you...boring!