I started this post once, but it wasnt coming out quite right. Let me try again.
Things are just a bit blah in life right now. Maddy was sick Friday. I started feeling not so good on Sunday, and have had stomach cramps since. Today Brenna came home early from school not feeling well. Lovely. I hope we get over this quick!
I found out Saturday that Mike has a girlfriend...his second since we split up. Guess I just dont get that. I mean, I know how he is, but still... I asked where he met these women (I was pretty sure I already knew), and the answer was online. Really? The thought of that just scares the crap out of me! I mean, he can do whatever he wants, but if he decides to bring my girls around her, then I need to worry. What do you really know about someone you meet online???
So I decided to check out the site he met them on. Its not set up as a dating site, but it sure looks like one to me. You dont have to pay, and its a way to "meet people", but still... He said he wasnt really "looking" for someone, but after seeing the site, I cant honestly believe that. I guess I just dont really get it.
Sure, I'd like to date someone...have someone to hang out with, spend evenings with when the girls are with their dad, but I just cant resort to looking online. The thought just creeps me out.
Anyway, I told him I'd just like to get the papers ready, get the quit claims done, and when I get a bit more money, I'll file the papers. It would be better all around to just have it done. I guess part of me worries what it would look like if I dated someone now when we're still legally married. Maybe I shouldnt care...we're apart, and its going to stay that way. So I just want to get it over with and out of the way. (Our 15th anniversary is Thursday.)
(Oh, and I have no doubt that if I asked him back, he'd come. I just cant do that again. I want to be happy, and I really want him to be happy too...we just cant do that together.)