Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Happy Birthday?

I'm just not sure what to think anymore. I got to the hospital and went back to see Grandpa. He opened his eyes, and I really thought he was trying to squeeze my hand to let me know he knew I was there. But I just never know. No doubt he was moving, but why is the question. While his eyes were open, he was looking up towards the ceiling. I dont really know if he was looking at something or not, but he was pointing towards where he was looking. When he finally looked at me, I really thought there was a flash of recognition in his eyes. Its what I wanted so bad, so I didnt know if thats really what I saw, or if it was wishful thinking.

I just got off the phone with my mom. She asked me what I thought, and I said I wasnt sure. She said he was actually answering yes or no questions tonight...bearly, but he was trying. He was also making grunting noises like he was trying to talk. Well, when I was there, he was opening his mouth like he was trying to talk, but they have his vent and feeding tube taped across his lips now, and I thought maybe that was just bugging him. But now I dont know.

I was pretty depressed when I came home today. I dont know how much to say to aunt Jackie because I'm not sure she's as optimistic as some. So I left with that sagging feeling again. Now I'm not sure what to think. I guess we just wait to see what tomorrow brings.

(I did have a very nice lunch with Pam today, and many birthday wishes on Facebook, so those things helped keep my day bright.)

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