Thursday, May 27, 2010

Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

What a difference a day makes...and then another.

After my somewhat positive visit with Grandpa on Tuesday, Mom called yesterday afternoon to tell me he was really bad, and they were going to take out the vent and let nature take its course. The doctors felt that he wasnt going to get any better, he wasnt waking up anymore, wasnt responding, etc. I explained things to the girls, and it was just an all around awful afternoon.

Then she calls this morning. When Aunt Jackie and Aunt Bobbi went in to see him this morning, he ws sitting up in bed watching tv, and watching people walk past his bed. I think thats the first time he's done that. It was such a complete turn around, I couldnt believe what I was hearing. Needless to say, they decided to leave the vent in. If he's the same tomorrow, then they'll do a trach.

I just cant believe what has happened the last 2 days with him. We spent yesterday afternoon in tears, preparing to say goodbye, and then today we're hopeful for the future. I just dont know where to put my emotions these days. It hurts so much to think about losing him, but its sooooo hard to stay optimistic and then have the bottom drop out from under you. But I cant just sit in the middle somewhere.

I'm going to go up to see him tomorrow.

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