Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Time for Change

I've been avoiding posting about this for awhile now, but I guess its time to get it out. I'm going to need a place to vent and get things off my chest, so I might as well start now. I haven't yet because once its on here, its there for the world to see.

For several weeks before the trip, Mike and I have been talking about splitting up. Its definately not an easy decision, but we both think its for the best. We cant get along. We fight all the time. Neither of us is happy, and that doesnt make for a good environment to raise the girls. We decided it would be best for him to stay here until I got back from the trip so the girls could stay here and not have to be shuffled around. But now he's moved out. I mean, he hasnt been sleeping here for several weeks, so I guess its not all that different, but still...

We've been getting along pretty well in regards to how we'll split things up, who gets the girls when (I get custody...that I wont budge on), child support, etc. He said he'd help me get the house finished up and make sure I get to keep it. It would be nice if we can get this finished up and not have to drag it all out.

I feel happy. I know thats not really the right thing to say in this situation, but I feel a sense of peace, or maybe relief? Its just not been a smooth or happy ride a lot of the time. I know its not going to be easy. In fact, I figure its going to be quite hard a lot of the time. But I've turned things over to God, and I feel he is guiding me in the direction I need to go. He knows the job I need is out there, and I'll see it when I'm supposed to. (I have a clue on this one...just have to wait for now...)

I still have some things about me to sort out. I have some mixed feelings and emotions that I'm not sure what to do about. Most are not about the impending ending of my marriage. I've had some things come up in my life, and I'm not sure yet what they mean or why they're there. I know I'll know eventually, but it would be nice to know now. :)

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